We pointed out in the Part-1 of this series of articles the negative consequences and devastating results that can cause a divorce process among couples , especially if there are children, no matter how old they are, really the impact will be felt in different magnitudes, but that will have collateral damage, it will, and they will have further complication and confusion in the feelings of one of the spouses, the impact will be in the person who is more sensitive to emotional pain, and often the victim is most cases is the women, this trend is due to its natural sensitivity by nature.
For the above said, I’m not trying to say that men are not victim also of those same feelings, no, as I know of men who have been victims of the polarization of the children who have or mistakenly they have been manipulated by the mothers and as consequence had arisen a victim, it doesn’t matter of which side come from.
Let’s talk in more detail some of the topics mentioned before, such as economics, the economic detail is very sensitive for several reasons, consider some of them.
The Economic Divorce
It is obvious that two homes are more expensive of maintaining that one alone; you can experience a decrease of financial resources after the divorce. The heaviest financial load typically falls on one of the parents, generally to the one that has been awarded the physical custody of the children. Commonly the women are the one who suffer the financial injustice.
Mothers sometimes need to work longer hours to try to bring up their children, these causes a reduction in the amount of time available for their children. There are also some irresponsible men, insensitive or macho men for its convenience to neglect their obligations, as is the duty of maintenance and that they fail to meet the once they are separated, alluding to a common saying that says, “Dead the cow, the calf died.
There are several things to mention when you are negotiating with the economic changes caused by divorce. Never act lightly just because you feel overwhelmed, under pressure from spouse, family, and friends and even sometimes by the same children when they are already giving the right and might influence with their opinion. Consider all aspects calmly, the whole scenario that will remain in their new status as single.
Anyone who is going through the chaos of a divorce, your reasoning also will be affected, especially in the aspect of making decisions. During this process the people are as stunned in his brain, as when it received a direct blow to the head; that reminds me of the sport of boxing, when one boxer is beaten in the head, we often see that the contestant beaten in the ring he feel misplaced, at that time does not know where he is, that feeling it is similar in the battles of a divorce.
As a family counselor, often comes out this part of the conflict, the person who is under such tremendous pressure as much as you want to leave as soon as possible and relieve the pain caused the problem, commonly surrender some material benefits or rights of any nature when suddenly emotions settle down and have calmed down and begin to see their mistakes, then perhaps it is too late to recover these rights, it is important that in such situations opt for professional advice both legal and psychological .
Avoid involving your children in financial loads. To worry about money can be difficult for the children at the same time remember they are looking for extra support and strength.
Consider your financial needs and available resources. Sit down and make a list of the money coming in and spending money, especially those that you know are fixed. Budgets can be very useful instruments to mitigate financial stress.
Definitively you have to learn how to control your expenses, especially at the initial months after the divorce. Make plans to improve your economic situation. Look in the retirement plans or insurance policies and make the intent to fix the security of you and of your children. You most plan the future of your children; both parents are generally responsible for this.
There are other recommendations that we suggest, and I do not want to miss one; I consider important the followings: while you are going through a divorce avoid becoming involved in major decisions, whether in financial businesses, sales of goods where there is considerable money investment; but if you still want to go ahead anyway, seek advice and assistance from trusted experts who are familiar with your business.
Avoid at any cost the use of the alcohol or drugs to attenuate your pain for such a lost or failure, as you considers it, please do not do it, besides the expenses that you will incur; your health, your morals, your condition as a human being will suffer and will be a waste; maybe of irreparable consequences.